It’s officially been a week since we transferred our two blasts. So far, they’re behaving more like teenage girls than bundles of cells—all drama, all the time! They are microscopic, and yet they are already testing my patience.
Here’s where we stand:
Yesterday’s spotting seems to have stopped. It was reasonably light, but it was definitely there. Sort of pinky-red. It was really hard to say color-wise since it was mixed with so much of the white powder from progesterone suppositories. It definitely wasn’t brown, which I probably would have felt much better about. I’m hopeful that it has stopped for the time being, but still terrified that it was there. It’s entirely possible that my poor cervix is irritated from all of these powdery progesterone capsules. Or it could be something else.
I also have cramps. Mostly dull ones, but since yesterday I keep feeling a sharp pain on my left side in my ovary region, which sort of terrifies me. It comes in short bursts like a stabbing feeling, and then it stops and it won’t happen again for hours. I didn’t think much of it at first, but it really hurt for a few minutes when I was driving home from work yesterday and then I got home and discovered the spotting. It could be related, or it could not be related. Only time will tell. I am trying very hard not to think about the words chemical and ectopic.
The silver lining:
When I compare the photos of tests from the last 3 days, there is a difference. We definitely have something going on in there.
Do you ever just feel like you know too much? I think if I was an average person who just got a positive on a pregnancy test, none of the bad stuff would ever even occur to me. I kind of resent that in a way.
There was no offer of an earlier beta from our nurse yesterday or this morning, so we have to tough it out until Monday. I’ve decided not to push it because deep down, I know that a single beta isn’t going to make me feel any better. I won’t have any relief until we get our second set of numbers, and even if I went in on Friday for round 1, I’d still have to wait through the weekend for round 2. Either way, it’s going to be an anxiety-filled weekend, so I may as well just hang tight and keep peeing on things.
In the meantime, if anyone could help me find my brain’s “off” switch, that would be great. I would sure love to get more than 4 hours of sleep sometime soon.