Looking for a job has been overflowing with both inspiration and defeat. It turns out that I actually do know what I want to do with my professional life, and all I really needed to do was buckle down and start reading the descriptions on job listings to figure that out. There’s a good reason why I was drawn to marketing communications throughout my career: I’m good at it. I also enjoy it. I just didn’t enjoy my previous work environment.
When I started this job search three(+) weeks ago, I was a bit picky about where I sent my resume. I focused on non-profits with missions I believed in or private firms who offered something important to better the world. There were national political organizations, health advocacy groups and clinics, environmental groups, schools, and even a large food bank. I felt uplifted by the sheer volume of opportunities available in my field that seemed like they might be fulfilling.
I’ve reached the point now where the rejection letters have overtaken my inbox and the vague sense of imposter syndrome I’d been fighting has become significantly less vague and harder to battle. I can’t tell you exactly how many carefully crafted cover letters I’ve distributed (4-5 a day for several weeks-ish), but I can tell you that my enthusiasm for writing them is waning along with my enthusiasm for the remaining pool of employers.
Today, I am taking a step back to try to re-frame my approach a bit. I don’t have to work for a non-profit to find fulfillment in my work. I simply have to find work and then make it fulfilling.
If you need me, I’ll be sitting here drafting cover letters in my pajamas, occasionally grimacing from a sip of cold coffee because I failed to realize that it’s been sitting there untouched for over an hour.