{Insert head exploding emoji here}

Charlotte was sent home from school today right on the heels of an extended absence due to hand foot mouth. We literally dropped off her “return to school” note in the office this morning at 9.

I got the call around 11. “She has these red blotches all over her back,” I was told.

Now, this kid is as white as white kids come. She is so fair skinned and sensitive that red marks on her body are not uncommon and are generally temporary. I asked if she’d been roughhousing or playing in grass, but the office had no idea. They just wanted me to come get her.

Ok fine. I go to school and when I arrive, she’s still playing with her class. So they’re so concerned about these blotches that I have to drop everything to pick her up but not concerned enough that it warrants separating her from the other kids?

As we walked out, I told her she had to go home because she has red marks on her back. She said, “That’s because (boy kid) bit me on my back.” I asked her to point to where she was bit and she blindly pointed exactly to a red spot. I looked in the sunlight and could clearly see that these so-called blotches were actually scratches and a bite.


I marched her back to the teacher, who argued with me and said it must be an allergy.


I left with my kid because I was on the verge of losing my shit in a room full of 3 year olds.

These photos were taken as soon as we walked through our front door. Be honest with me… what would you make of them? I’m not really capable of being objective because every minute she isn’t at school is a minute I have to stay up after bedtime to get my schoolwork done.


18 thoughts on “{Insert head exploding emoji here}

  1. I would report to cps and immediately take her to the doctor to get it reported. The fact that she was bit is not worth reporting but their response should trigger an investigation. That is fucking outrageous.

    • I respectfully disagree with calling CPS. I’m a foster parent and involving CPS over anything other than true child abuse drains resources away from cases where truly awful shit is going on. Think sex trafficking, sexual abuse, extreme neglect, etc…

      • Ok. My understanding is having a record allows patterns to be seen that otherwise would be missed. I disagree that getting violations on the books is a waste just because there are worse things that happen in the world.

      • Unless it’s the adult care provider who bit the kid calling CPS is a total “Karen wants to speak to your manager, right now” douche move. I mean seriously imagine from a CPS point of view – a child bit my child at daycare and they called me to come get her. Underpaid and overworked case workers don’t have the time to see nuance and/or to consider how a parent experienced an event. Sure it sounds like the daycare providers could have been more reasonable but it’s not CPS worthy. Not to mention, if you set that tone, be ready for them to call on you over every little mark she has. They’ll want a record to protect themselves with. Seriously, CPS is shit show that blows back on everyone.

      • Given that Molly said below that there’s a division that deals with this with daycares, which is actually probably exactly what folks who have talked about reporting daycares for exactly with kind of thing with me before have actually reported to, your comment is unnecessary. Thanks for adding a pile of nasty to an already shitty week for me.

      • There actually is a division of California’s Social Services Dept that specifically handles issues and complaints surrounding licensed childcare facilities, so I wouldn’t even have to go to CPS to make a complaint.

  2. Bites. And I’d be looking for a new day care based on their lack of supervision. How did they find the marks unless C pointed them out? Obviously there was some sort of incident to make them look on her back.

  3. Definitely bite mark. These things happen but their response is not on. When another kid bit Violet her teacher phoned me to tell me, explained what had happened, what they did etc. I’d be furious too.

  4. I think I see teeth marks, but it’s so round and perfect (at least in the pic), that I think it could be mistaken for ringworm. That’s a helluva bite though, and with those scratches I’d be wondering how an interaction like that would go unnoticed.

  5. Bites and report it to whoever is responsible for the school. Ridiculous. Did they not even listen to her when she told them that? If she was bitten hard enough to leave visible teeth marks surely she complained. Now I’m all fired up on her behalf!

  6. That’s a bite, and a pretty intense one. I work in a field that deals with sexual trauma, and I have no doubt what a bite looks like.

    At the very least, I would be reporting to the administration/management of the school. I’d also be getting as much detail from Charlotte as she can give you (that may not be much at 3). Boy’s name, names of any other kids around or kids who got bit, if this has happened before to her or anyone else, etc.

    I’m so sorry for her and for you.

    • One more thing – continue to take daily pictures. Even if it doesn’t look like it’s getting worse, it is useful documentation and the bruising may increase.

  7. Yikes. That definitely looks like bite marks. I would be upset about my kid being bitten, but it’s so much worse to be told that that isn’t what happened. If Charlotte is able to articulate that that is what happened, and the marks seem to point to that as well, it is ridiculous that the teacher would argue about it. I’m so sorry that that happened.

  8. I’m late to the game on this one, and I see a lot of comments above with advice so I won’t repeat anything that’s already been said. What I am curious about is what normally happens at your daycare if a child is bit? We get incedent reports if our child bits or hurts someone or if our child gets hurt by another child biting or scratching. Leaving a physical mark always results in an incident report and when they don’t know the cause they actually still tell us about it. And we always get verbal reports on non-mark leaving things. And now Little MPB tells us who did what, including when he pushes another kid (which makes me laugh).
    Anyways I just hope it’s not a big deal and you’ve been able to talk to the daycare about it.

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