One of the last things my grandfather ever said to me will stay with me forever. “Does it ever just strike you how blessed we are to be here?” He was suffering from dementia, and it was pretty much the only thing he said that day that made any sense.
Some people might hear a dying man say something like that and feel like it’s some sort of ethereal truth about life. Not me. It stuck with me because I felt like he was full of shit.
Are we blessed to be here?
I’m not sure I can answer that. Not today, anyway.
I don’t deny that there is beauty in this world. There are moments that take my breath away. Moments when I’m so overcome with love for my life and this planet that I am (practically) speechless. (Let’s face it… I am never totally speechless.)
But in between those moments, there is a lot of “meh.”
Day after day spent sitting under the fluorescent lights of an office wishing more than anything that I could just be with my baby girl.
Struggles to pay bills and manage finances.
Traffic. Pollution. Overcrowding.
Sickness. Suffering. Cruelty. Brutality.
All around the world, children are neglected. People are starving. Homeless. Desperate.
Mothers fear losing their babies every day. Mothers do lose their babies every day.
Several years ago, a sweet basset hound was adopted from the rescue we volunteer with. He was later doused with fuel and burned to death.
This world we live in… it just doesn’t really seem all that blessed. And yes, there are lots of great people out there. People who work hard to do what’s right and bring some beauty into people’s lives one way or another… but will it ever be enough?
So while I appreciate the beautiful parts of my life… are we actually blessed to be here? Is this what a blessing looks like? Do we only fight so hard for the good stuff because the option is an endless string of “meh” or worse? What purpose does humanity even serve? We make films about aliens who invade planets and slowly suck them dry and destroy them… how are we any different from those aliens?
(Existential crisis, much?)
I know this sounds like the ramblings of a depressed person. I promise I’m not. I’m just sad today. Sad that my beautiful baby girl who positively radiates love had to wake up this morning in a world where people are gunned down at a music festival (or school—or the movies—or their workplace). How many of those people started their afternoon feeling like they were blessed to be here? And then what? They are shot at? Trampled? Why?
I am so incredibly grateful for all of the beauty in my life, but our world is broken. Humanity is not a blessing.