The other night, I told Catch about something in the blog world and her response was, “These people are not your real friends. You don’t even know them. You need to not care so much.”

In her defense, she’s being protective of me–of our family. She has experienced the effects of my anxiety/depression the past two years and her comments were reflective of that. She’s trying to minimize my worry.

The thing is that in this community, I do consider many of you to be my friends. Some of us are connected on social media. Some I email. Some I text. To me, you and your families are as real as anyone else in my life. We have supported each other through losses and gains and everything in between, and that has been an absolute gift that I truly cherish.

As Sammie posted yesterday, a family in our community has suffered a tremendous loss. Losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare, and Cassie and Cherish are living that hell right now as they face the endless stretch of days ahead of them without their beautiful little boy, Leo.

I am struggling to find words to continue this because the enormity of Leo’s death is really beyond words. It’s wide-eyed, jaw dropped, weak knees, hug your baby closer, heart sinking sadness mixed with a desire to DO something. Anything. To help. To ease their pain. To lift them up. To shoulder some of their burden.

As the Ladd family struggles to make memorial plans for their baby boy, all I can do from a distance is donate my Starbucks money and share their story in the hopes that others will do the same. When your child dies, the last thing you should have to worry about is the expense.

Please consider donating to the Go Fund Me or Meal Train established for their family. They need it. This is how we can add some light to the darkest time in their lives. Believe me, I understand that we don’t all have money to give. Personally, I woke up to a zero (ZERO!!!!) dollar balance in my checking account this morning thanks to an error in my budgeting. If you can’t donate, maybe you can share their story by posting the link somewhere. Or maybe just drop by her blog and leave her some hearts to let them know that people out in the world are rooting for their family right now.





14 thoughts on “Friends

  1. I feel every single word you’ve written here. First, my heart truly hurts for this family. And just like you I despertly wish I could do more. And second, so many of my blogging friends are truly friends of mine and I am beyond thankful for each one of you.

  2. I didn’t know the family in question, but so much yes to blogger buddies being real friends. I know I stepped away for a bit, I was bitter about my infertility and my wife felt very jealous that there was a community that understood me when she didn’t. She understands me better now, but I still don’t feel like I can get back into blogging, unless I get pregnant or something (your child is adorable, but seeing her too often while just posting about my cat or dog is kind of depressing for me.

  3. There is definitely a sense of community/family even though it is all online and we don’t really know one another. Writing is therapeutic and when my daughter was missing milestones and I was lost in my journey through motherhood I found support through my blog from people I didn’t know. It is different than the people we have in our day-to-day. It’s hard to explain, but it just is. I happened to meet one of the most important people in my life through the blogging world. I think we all root for one another and find support in one another. I am devastated for them. To take from your post – a loss of this magnitude IS beyond words.

  4. I agree – I am so thankful for so many in the blogosphere, and you are all very real to me. My heart has been aching for the Ladd’s since I read Sammie’s post. I was able to read Cassie’s blog when she was newly pregnant with her #3, but I lost track of her after that and her blog is now private (which I totally understand). Knowing of their loss has still brought me profound sadness, an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty/confusion/anger that anyone ever experiences the loss of a child, and a wish that I could do more to help.

  5. Oh god. No words. Only as much love as I can cast your way and your friend’s way. I never understood the magnitude of losing a child until I had a kid, and now I am paralyzed by the horror. Thank you for sharing those sites – at least we might be able to help, even the littlest bit.
    I talk about you all to my wife as real friends, because you are. A lot of you know more about me than some of my RL friends. You guys are a family – maybe differently organized, differently shaped, with different expectations etc, but the love is still real as is the community.

  6. So heartwrenching. But the love and caring I’ve seen from this group is incredible. All my love to the family. When i saw, my heart just stopped. I held my baby and wife closer, kissed them more. My wife was very understanding bc she sees what this group means to me amd that meant so much to me

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