Self Care

I took my first dose of Zoloft last night. There are a dozen reasons why I didn’t want to do it, but a hundred reasons why I should, so I did it. It’s a low dose to start, so we have lots of wiggle room to figure it out. I have a follow up with my doctor in 4 weeks, and I hope to see some signs of improvement before we talk again.

I really need this to work. My anxiety is just out of control. I can’t focus on anything, and then I’m falling behind which is causing more anxiety and it’s just a vicious circle. Something’s gotta give. Please let that thing be Zoloft.

Catch took Charlotte and the dogs to her parents house on Wednesday. They’re coming home later today. Do that math, and that means I had two whole nights to myself to do whatever I wanted to do after work.

I was apprehensive at first because I’ve never been apart from Charlotte for so long, but I knew it would be good for us all. Eventually, I was really excited for my alone time. For one thing, I haven’t had any significant time alone in longer than I can even remember. Excitement aside, I still cried when I had to leave her to go to work on Wednesday morning.

After work on Wednesday, I went shopping for a while and then used a gift card to buy myself a movie ticket to see The Big Sick. I sat at a restaurant bar and enjoyed a happy hour margarita while I waited for my movie to start. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen a movie in a theater. It was wonderful. I made it home shortly after 9 pm, cranked up the air, and stayed up way too late watching the Gilmore Girls and puttering around the house.

Yesterday, I met my mom after work for pedicures and then we enjoyed a long, leisurely dinner at an Indian restaurant. We drank cold beer, ate curry and had uninterrupted conversation for the first time in ages. The food was amazing. It was wonderful. I went home and cleaned a bit before I settled back in with more Gilmore Girls.

I really needed that time. It was such a gift. I feel so incredibly lucky. I wish I could give every tired mom in the world a few days off from their life.

My girls will be home this afternoon, and I can’t wait to see them.


7 thoughts on “Self Care

  1. I used Zoloft for bad anxiety as well a couple of years ago. Just 10 mg. It definitely helped me. I will tell you tho, I stopped taking it because it totally killed my sex drive. My anxiety is much improved over all however.

  2. Oh to go to a movie alone again! I’m glad you had some time to put some fuel back in your tank. We all need a reminder to do this, but mom guilt is so real! Side note, I have been watching Gilmore Girls, I never knew what a cute show it was! I was busy watching Dawson’s Creek back in the day which has not held up half as well as GG. I hope you notice some improvement with the Zoloft.

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