I wrote this yesterday and I never had a chance to post it, but I also can’t bring myself to delete it.
My house is a mess.
Charlotte woke up like, “HOW DARE YOU NOT HAVE MY PANCAKES READY FOR ME HURRY UP AND DO IT NOW I WILL CLING TO YOU AND NOT LET YOU PUT ME DOWN UNTIL I HAVE PANCAKES IN MY BELLY I DON’T CARE IF IT’S HARD TO MAKE PANCAKES WITH ONE HAND WHILE SUPPORTING 30 LBS WITH YOUR OTHER HAND THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONAL PROBLEM GET ME MY PANCAKES NOW WOMAN YES MY DIAPER IS LEAKING AND YOU ARE NOW SOAKED WITH MY URINE BUT IF YOU THINK YOU ARE CHANGING MY DIAPER YOU ARE DELUSIONAL PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES.”
My coffee got cold.
The nanny had to text us to ask where Charlotte’s tennis shoes are.
I panicked for a minute because it’s entirely possible that all of her sneakers are in the back seat of my car, which is as much of a disaster as my house, but then I remembered that there’s a pair on the bathroom counter. Because that’s where shoes go. See item 2 above.
I found out that Charlotte’s new school never cashed our deposit check in March, and I failed to account for that in my checking account balance which is a major OUCH.
I managed to catch the crock pot before it fell on my head AND to not fall when I missed a step getting down from the stepladder after retrieving the damn thing.
Said crock pot now holds the contents of tonight’s dinner, so I don’t have to think about it when I get home.
I got to leave my whiny, screamy, teething child with the nanny (ask me how sad I was to leave this morning), and enough time has gone by now that I actually miss my little pancake monster.
I cannot stop laughing at this video.
I am only 3 hours away from having a vodka tonic in hand.