Balance

I wrote this yesterday, but just never had time to post!

I took some time off from work over the holidays and today is my first day back in 10 days. I cried half the way to my office. Overly dramatic much?

I just can’t help it. I miss my little girl.

Our trio had such a great Christmas vacation together. We really needed that time. I really needed that time.

Now we have to adjust to the working mama routine again.

I am not a New Year’s resolutions kind of gal. Never have been. But my time at home did demonstrate to me that if I’m going to be truly happy with this life Catch and I have carved out for ourselves, I need to make some changes.

I wish I could definitively look at things and say, “X. I need to work on X.”

It’s more than that, though. I think it’s a bit of an identity crisis, to be honest. Now that we have Charlotte, we are either in work or mom mode 24/7… it leaves very little for us or me. I just don’t think that’s the example I want Charlotte to see. I want her to see moms who are interested in things—and interested in each other. Yes, our world revolves around her and will for years and years, but I think it’s to her benefit to see a bit of balance.

While we were off, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen. That’s not new—what was new was that I was enjoying my time in the kitchen. I had time to play—to try making something I’ve never made before (New York cheesecake!). It wasn’t just a blur of weeknight dinners. I realized that I need to tap into that outlet more often. (Pretzels?!)

(Also, I tried to cut off my finger with my very best just sharpened knife while making split pea soup and it hurts like a motherfucker and is making EVERYTHING more difficult. So along with my reminder to myself to spend more time playing in the kitchen, I would also like to remind myself to SLOW THE HELL DOWN in the kitchen.)

I picked up my camera again and it’s reminded me that although the iPhone is handy, it doesn’t hold a candle to my DSLR. I would really like to use my good camera more this year, so to further that wish, I am going to do a 100-day challenge. I am going to take at least 1 photo a day with my good camera and I’ll post them once every week or two. I told Catch last night that it’s unrealistic to think that I can take a (non-iPhone) photo every day for 100 days, but she told me I’m setting myself up for failure before I’ve even started and that I need to just try. So I’m trying.

We went to the zoo while we were off and had a blast. While we were there, Charlotte made friends with two little girls and I’m not even exaggerating when I say that she LIT UP like a Christmas tree when those other kids took an interest in her. Catch even looked at me and said, “She needs a sister.” (Um. NO.) She LOVES other kids, but we hardly spend any time around kids her age. We really want to work on that. I don’t know what “working on it” looks like yet, but we’ve got to get her involved in something. We just don’t have enough young children in our lives.

We’ll see what shape 2017 takes. I have high hopes.

Here are a freaking ton of pictures from our holidays:

Christmas Eve morning & dinner at my mom’s house:

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Christmas Eve after Santa Came

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Christmas morning at home – Just the 3 of us:

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Vacation!

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Teething HELL – New Year’s Day was pure misery for Charlotte. I’ve honestly never seen her like that–SO much pain. We tried everything and eventually, what worked was some ice cream and Frozen. She was hurting so bad that I don’t even care what pre-kid Molly would have said about that.

Happy New Year, friends.

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8 thoughts on “Balance

  1. Your talk of balance really hit a chord with me. I have been thinking lately that I want Avery to see her moms show affection for each other, and when I think that I also think “what ever happened to the affection in the first place??” I guess that’s just a part of having a kid, and I think it takes work to regain a balance after a child enters your life. Good luck to us both in balancing our lives out in 2017, while of course accepting that it’s only natural to put the kids first 😊

  2. Me time is a REQUIREMENT at our house! I swear, if I didn’t have my Tuesday nights to do whatever the ole hell I want, I would have lost it a long time ago. Hopefully when the kids are a little older I can get my early morning Saturday hikes in, becuase callie doesn’t hike and I can’t carry 3 babies on my own, but for now it works. I go for a drink with friends, meditation group, the arcade, wherever! And I also decided to pull out my Nikon and take a picture a day for a year, and even though I know that is gonna be super hard, it’s on picture. So far, I’ve missed no days, so not too shabby. Great pics of Charlotte, and Happy New Year friend!

  3. I feel like crying every single time I go back to work after any longer-than-normal time off, even if it’s just a 3-day weekend.

    Wolfie went through some pretty terrible teething a couple months ago, and it turned out he was getting two molars at the same time. It was at least fairly short-lived, but he basically didn’t sleep at all for at least two nights.

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