The Latest Thing I’m Losing Sleep Over

Every year, I plan my company’s holiday party. It’s a big budget fancy event at the Four Seasons. Since I am in charge of everything, I get a comped suite at the hotel for the night of the party.

Last year, Catch stayed home with Charlotte and I attended the event by myself. Someone else took the free room and I pumped every 3 hours in a little meeting space near the ballroom. I made it home to Catch and Charlotte around 1 am.

This year, Catch is coming with me and my mom is staying with Charlotte. The hotel room is booked in my name, and I had EVERY intention of using that room. The Four Seasons beds are out of this world amazing. An uninterrupted night’s sleep in one of those beds sounds like a dream come true. I haven’t had an uninterrupted night’s sleep since before Charlotte was born. I have been fantasizing about this for months and months.


(There’s always a but.)

Charlotte is still nursing throughout the night. She wakes up 3 times on average. If Catch goes to her in the night, she SCREAMS bloody murder until I show up.

This doesn’t seem to bode well for me having a night away from the kid. I don’t know what to do.

I want this so badly. SO BADLY.

But I don’t want to stick my mom overnight with an inconsolable toddler. Plus, mom already said that if Charlotte cries for longer than an hour, she’s calling us and we have to come home—which likely means a pre-dawn Uber, which is obviously less than ideal.

Is it possible that if Catch and I aren’t even home, Charlotte will respond differently? Is it possible that she’ll scream, but my mom will be able to calm her down with a warm bottle and maybe some emergency Sesame Street? Maybe? I don’t know.

The party is in 9 days. I don’t know what to do. I was up half the night last night worrying about it.

Normally, I’d say to hell with it. Baby comes first. We should just suck it up and go home. But god… it’s ONE NIGHT. One night that I need SO badly. Do you know how long it’s been since I had longer than 3 consecutive hours of sleep? It’s been so long. And now the opportunity is being handed to me on a silver platter with a fluffy down filled comforter and oversized pillows and it’s like a dream come true.

I have been avoiding traveling for work since Charlotte was born. I’ve missed out on some cool opportunities as a result, and I can’t avoid it forever. There’s a huge part of me that says we need to start somewhere with this. And maybe it’s good to start on a night when we’re away but still local? Or is 16 months just too young? Do I need to wait until she’s weaned?

I’m am completely at a loss. What would you do if you were me?



19 thoughts on “The Latest Thing I’m Losing Sleep Over

  1. Molly, I swear to god, if I was there I would stay with her for you and let her scream on me all night long. I know how badly you need this. Seriously if you need it badly enough to fly me to California I will do this for you.

  2. I have never had a single night away from Evelyn but I would fucking LOVE one. Just never had the opportunity. She’s still a shitty sleeper, btw! Just no more boobs (thank gawd).

    Okay so…a pre-dawn Uber is less than ideal but…what if she DOESN’T scream for more than an hour? Even if she does, wouldn’t that mean some uninterrupted sleep for you at least for a few hours before grabbing the uber home?

    I think C will act differently without you there, anyway. She’ll know you’re not an option. Just a guess. Just do it.

  3. Go for it! The worst thing that happens is the pre-dawn Uber. The best thing is that you get the night that you SERIOUSLY deserve. And kids, they do crazy things when we aren’t around. You’ll be a better mom if you take care of you as much as you can! DO IT!

  4. Dude GO! Its all about expectations right? So just set yourself up to expect a middle of the night uber. And then if it doesn’t happen you’re pleasantly surprised. You deserve a night so why not try for it. Worst thing that can happen is you don’t get it this time right?

  5. I vote go. How long has Catch gone letting Charlotte holler? I got to the point where I firmly have stopped allowing Darwin to nurse before 2am and after a few days she stopped waking for it. I’m getting ready to push it another hour. Night nursing sucks. So to speak. However you work it I hope it gives you some kind of break.

  6. Do it. Worst thing is you have to Uber home. I know for a fact Mabel acts differently with her nanny and when other family members watch her. You gotta start somewhere, right? Take care of you. She’ll be fine.

  7. Friend, you said it is ONE night that you guys basolutely deserve…and freaking NEED, for like, what’s that thing called again? SANITY! And you know what, make it clear to your mom, “Lady, please dont call me! You’re a mom too! Figure it out!” And i know that probably sounds kinda harsh and crazy, but like, you absolutely need one night….and then the next morning, when you all are nice and refreshed, you grabthat baby and you cuddle her so good and thank your luck stars that those 8+ hours of sleep will rejuvenate you for a good while. When the boys were 4 months old, our friends got us a suite at the Radison, and we didn’t wanna go…we were almost like, no you ugys take it….and we had all these plans for the night, and we went to bed, at 9pm, and woke up at 10am, and it was amazing! And we get home and our poor friend (LMAO!) all disheveled and our apartment looked a HOT freaking mess, but we had 4 happy kids, with two happy moms that said, “EFF THIS MESS!” and went out for hibachi later. you owe it to yourselves..take the night!

  8. I’d go. If you don’t, you’ll never know if Charlotte will respond differently. And there’s a chance of uninterrupted sleep. Take it. Worse case, you get the call and you have to go home. But there’s a chance (and a pretty good one) that she’ll sleep. Take it!
    And you need to put yourself first sometimes. Charlotte will be fine, you and catch sounds like you need this more than Charlotte needs what she has every night.

  9. Give it a shot. I mean, a pre-dawn uber sucks, but so does forfeiting the entire thing, and you’ll never know for sure unless you try! I do think sometimes they know if you’re within earshot and will wail, knowing you’re around. Maybe with your mom, she’ll know it’s not as much of an option?

  10. I don’t know what it’s like to think of your 16 month old crying without you, but the thought of my 3 month old crying without me is heartbreaking. I absolutely would not be able to leave her for the night – can’t even leave for a 2 hour evening meeting.
    BUT, people keep telling me, too, that they act differently when the milk-source has left the house. After all this time, you deserve this, and she is totally old enough to be ok, even if she IS like “where the F is my mom, screw you grandma” all night. So I get why this is hard for you, but still agree with everyone else to give it a try!

  11. What would *I* do : Honestly I’m not sure.

    What do I think you should do: GO! Have fun! Have a much-needed and well-deserved night away!

    Worst comes to worst, you come home in the middle of the night. Even a few hours in a dark room with a cloud-soft bed is better than nothing!

  12. You should at least try. If it’s ruined, at least there was a chance. She might only scream because you’re there. Could you do a trial in the next day or so?

  13. I have a 17 month old who night nurses and is my Velcro child. I left him with LP for one night for the first time 2 weeks ago. He didn’t even wake up over night. WTF?

    I agree with your tribe: give it ago. And tell Mom to manage and not freakin’ call you unless there’s blood. A lot of blood.

  14. I hope you go. I hope your mom lets you have this night even if Charlotte stages a protest against the lack of fresh milk. You will resent the hell out of everyone and everything if you don’t go. That’s not healthy either. And there’s a good chance Charlotte will behave entirely differently when you aren’t available at all. Plus: it has to happen at some point, why NOT now? Especially when you need it. Toddlers are resilient and you know what? Grandparents can be too. Do it.

  15. My answer probably explains why I’m 40, not a mother, and my parents least favorite child but…I would go, book the room for two night, turn my phone off, and sleep for 48 hours.

  16. Just got back from a week at my moms. The few times I let my mom handle her in the middle of the night, my 19 month old (who doesn’t sleep through the night, ugh) would quietly lay back down and go to sleep. 😡 I’m not going to say that these little tiny dictators play us like a fiddle…wait, yes, yes I am going to say that. If you feel half as insane as I do with having a kid pushing two that still gets up in the night and it’s pushing you and ur wife to the brink… GO.

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