We are in teething hell once again. My memory is a bit hazy, but I’m fairly certain this is the worst it’s ever been for our poor girl—and that’s saying something because teething has never been kind to her.

We got up with her around 2:30 am. I nursed her and rocked her in the dark for a bit before putting her back in her crib and sneaking back to my own bed. The quiet lasted for about ten minutes. Long enough to believe it was going to stick, which made it all the more painful when she started crying again. I waited. The crying stopped again after less than a minute. Relief. I closed my eyes. More crying. A minute goes by and the crying stops again. It’s quiet for a couple of minutes and then wham—more crying.

This went on for about 45 minutes.

I don’t often leave Charlotte to cry in her crib, but I do generally wait to see if the crying is really going to stick or if she’s just going to squawk for a moment and then go right back to sleep. In this case, neither sleep nor extended crying happened, but I gave up and went back into her room once it became clear that none of us were going to get any sleep if we didn’t get this kid back to dreamland.

Wrong answer. We walked into her room and she started SCREAMING. The kind of sobs that leave you soaking wet and gasping for air. No amount of rocking/nursing/singing/soothing was calming her down. We tried to get some Motrin in her and the screaming escalated to a place I didn’t even know existed.

That’s how we found ourselves watching Sesame Street at 3:30 am.  At 4 am, she scooted herself out of my lap, grabbed one of my knitting needles off the coffee table and took off through the house in her footed pajamas with a squeal of delight.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I adore playing with my kid. I love when she gets silly and runs through the house like a wild banshee. But at 4 am, I don’t love anything except sleep. I scooped up my little wild thing and we returned to her bedroom while she twisted in my arms and screamed NO NO NO NO NO.

I was back in my bed at 4:17 am. Catch’s alarm goes off at 5, so she never even bothered coming back to bed, opting for a spot on the couch with a blanket and a warm hound.

Today, my body aches and my eyes feel like sandpaper.

I am telling you this to explain why we will not be having another child. Nope. Not happening. One and done. Thank you very much, universe, for our precious gift. Future precious gifts can involve sleep, coffee, alcohol, or cash. Babies are officially off the Christmas list.

Edited to add:

Also, this:


17 thoughts on “One

  1. Damn. Teething just sucks, and it sounds like you all have it worse than most. I’m so sorry. The future holds an end to teething though. We are waiting through a very whiney toddler’s last two molars right now. Not thinking about the next set that’s starting to emerge for the infant.

    • I keep telling myself that we just need to get through these damn canines and then we’ll have a reprieve until the two year molars. She’s got two canines coming simultaneously–they’re giant inflamed lumps in her gums at the moment. I’m just waiting for them to break through. It’s gotta be any day now. (Please let it be any day now!)

  2. We’ve been in teething hell this week as well. Last Saturday and Sunday night he woke up crying every 15-30 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG. I had to call in sick to work on Monday just so I could get some sleep. Trouble sleeping has always been our first sign of teething, but it’s never been this bad. And I can’t get him to swallow a decent amount of Tylenol or Motrin for the life of me.

    • Oh, I have so been there with the 15-30 minutes thing. It’s absolutely brutal. These kids! These teeth! UGH! I wish I had tips on the meds.What the heck are you supposed to do when they flat out refuse this stuff? I wish they could understand!

  3. Hi! I usually just read your posts on my email but I had to comment on this one! I used to fantasize about having a sister for Gia, but due to her not sleeping much, I don’t. We’ve decided there is no way we could handle another two years of what we’re going through. So it’s coffee, vacation, cash and any other benefits of having an only child! Also, I’m sorry about the teething. How hard. You guys must be exhausted.

  4. The struggle is real! We have “Sleep Deprivation Amnesia” and have no idea what we are thinking when we say, “Soooooo, baby 5? No? Eh? Yes? Huh? What was that? Who? 5?” So, i hear ya! And teething is the pits! Noah’s top canines are starting to bubble and he has been the absolute worst and cutest toddler ever. Hope EVERYONE finds some relief soon…

    • You are like my mommy idol. I love the IDEA of having a big family. Siblings–chaos–so much love. But having Charlotte has taught me that I’m about as likely to enjoy having multiple kids as I am to enjoy a root canal. Also, I look back on pregnancy so fondly, but then I read blog posts and remember that I actually really hated being pregnant. I also hated GETTING pregnant. So yeah. Probably no mas.

    • They really do take FOREVER! It’s been weeks of this, although this week it’s definitely gotten worse and we can really see that two of those puppies are right on the verge of coming through.

  5. We are also in teething hell. It involves a fair bit of hitting and biting in frustration (just J doing these things, thankfully) and also NOT SLEEPING. I swear it feels harder not sleeping after having been getting more sleep for a stretch – like we were entitled to it and then it was snatched away from us.

    Wishing you all rest and poop-free pants!

  6. Nora doesn’t have any teeth yet and I’m dreading it! Her reflux is enough right now. Tony and I also said we cannot do this again. I’m not sure how I’d handle a toddler and an infant. Nope.. not happening. I feel for you. That sort of screaming is brutal!

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