I’ve been reaching out to family law and adoption attorneys since the election.
The other day, our president elect said that gay marriage has already been decided by the supreme court and that it’s a done deal. In almost the same breath, he promised to overturn Roe v Wade, which is also a supreme court decision and so should also be a done deal by his own logic. So excuse me if I have a hard time believing that my family is (legally) safe from the repercussions of this man’s pending administration.
Since we were married at the time of Charlotte’s birth, we are eligible for a streamlined second parent adoption in California. I have learned that all that really means is that we’re exempt from a home study. That’s great and all, but it doesn’t have the tremendous impact on the bottom line that I had hoped for.
It is going to cost us $2700 for Catch to adopt Charlotte. Her own daughter—by decree of both Charlotte’s birth certificate and every contract we signed at the fertility clinic. Everything I read online said $2-3k, but I saw folks in other states who were looking at figures closer to $1500, and I was really hoping that’s where the ball would drop. Obviously not.
I’m grateful at the moment that we only have one Charlotte, because if we had to pay for two (+!) adoptions, I’d probably say fuck it and insist that we just take up residence on a deserted island far, far away and live off of coconut.
I have no idea how we’re going to come up with $2700. I am contemplating opening an Etsy shop and selling knitted things, but I have so little time these days and knitting takes so long—I don’t know that I’d even be able to put a dent in it.
I’d sell a kidney, but I have a feeling I’m going to be drinking a lot over the next 4-8 years, so it’s probably best if I keep them both.
I know we’ll figure it out. We always do. And honestly, I feel like I’m using the financial burden as a crutch because it is so much easier to focus on $2700 than it is to focus on the big picture—the extreme prejudice of this incoming administration. Many, many people in this country have far more to fear than Catch and I, and their fears can’t be remedied with cash.