It’s been exactly two years since the beta that gave us Charlotte and I just started my first postpartum period this morning.
I had an inkling it was coming. I stopped pumping at work a few weeks ago, and it’s not uncommon these days for me to go 12+ hours without nursing Charlotte. (Which feels crazy when I think back to the months when I had to nurse her every 50 minutes!) So it wasn’t exactly a surprise, but it was still a bit shocking.
I have mixed feelings.
On the one hand, it feels like my body is slowly becoming mine again. I’ve been sharing it with my daughter for so long that I’ve honestly forgotten how that feels.
On the other hand, the last thing I needed in the midst of my current level of devastation was an added hormonal disruption. I already felt like I was bleeding for my country without literally bleeding. Thank you, universe.
So, it seems that my body is moving on while my heart and my head are still stuck on the events of the last couple of days.
Perhaps this is just my body’s way of saying, “I am woman, hear me roar!”
Touché, body. Touché.