Before I had a child, I pretty much assumed that I was going to be super mom—the maker of homemade baby food, the sensory activity crafter, the memento machine, the master of the baby book.
It hasn’t really worked out that way. At all.
The thing is, I’m already exhausted from the basics. Do I still have my job? Great. Is the tiny human still alive? Fantastic.
Everything else is just pretty pictures on my Pinterest boards.
Actually, I do make all of Charlotte’s food, but I am truly surprised to say that despite being a pretty good cook, I pretty much suck at it and it stresses me out. The other day I tried to make blueberry yogurt drops to freeze and the yogurt was too runny, so it all ended up leaking out of the baggie I snipped to try to pipe it onto the wax paper. I got so frustrated that I threw away the entire $8 container of organic yogurt. Thanks, Pinterest.
Our nanny texted me a picture of a blank wall in our den today and said that it would be a great place for a busy board for Charlotte. You know what? It would. It would be the perfect spot.
I texted Catch about it. It went like this:
Me: Busy boards.
Catch: I’ll just add it to the laundry list of things to do.
Me: Maybe I can go to Home Depot on my lunch break tomorrow.
Catch: There isn’t enough time or enough of me to go around.
Cue the guilt.
I don’t know how to reconcile my imaginary mom self with my actual mom self. I feel like I’m letting my kid down. I feel like I should drop everything and go make her that damn busy board, except I kind of can’t because my job keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table, so… yeah.
Which leads me to my point: Why don’t I feel like super mom for keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table? Because damn, it’s hard. It’s a heck of a lot harder than building a stupid busy board. Why am I not patting myself on the back for the awesomeness that is a paycheck and a savings account and groceries that are DELIVERED BY SOMEONE ELSE?
So screw you, busy board*. I am super mom. Just don’t ask me to make you any colored sensory play spaghetti because mama ain’t got time for that $%^&.
(*Hah—see what I did there? Screw? Busy board?)
PS: I did have a rock star mom moment on Mother’s Day when we painted in baggies. It was pretty fun. We will definitely do it again.