Shove it, Pinterest.

Before I had a child, I pretty much assumed that I was going to be super mom—the maker of homemade baby food, the sensory activity crafter, the memento machine, the master of the baby book.

It hasn’t really worked out that way. At all.

The thing is, I’m already exhausted from the basics. Do I still have my job? Great. Is the tiny human still alive? Fantastic.

Everything else is just pretty pictures on my Pinterest boards.

Actually, I do make all of Charlotte’s food, but I am truly surprised to say that despite being a pretty good cook, I pretty much suck at it and it stresses me out. The other day I tried to make blueberry yogurt drops to freeze and the yogurt was too runny, so it all ended up leaking out of the baggie I snipped to try to pipe it onto the wax paper. I got so frustrated that I threw away the entire $8 container of organic yogurt. Thanks, Pinterest.

Our nanny texted me a picture of a blank wall in our den today and said that it would be a great place for a busy board for Charlotte. You know what? It would. It would be the perfect spot.

I texted Catch about it. It went like this:

Me: Busy boards.

Catch: Yep.

Catch: I’ll just add it to the laundry list of things to do.

Me: LOL

Me: Right?

Me: Maybe I can go to Home Depot on my lunch break tomorrow.

Catch: There isn’t enough time or enough of me to go around.

Me: Yep.

Cue the guilt.

I don’t know how to reconcile my imaginary mom self with my actual mom self. I feel like I’m letting my kid down. I feel like I should drop everything and go make her that damn busy board, except I kind of can’t because my job keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table, so… yeah.

Which leads me to my point: Why don’t I feel like super mom for keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table? Because damn, it’s hard. It’s a heck of a lot harder than building a stupid busy board. Why am I not patting myself on the back for the awesomeness that is a paycheck and a savings account and groceries that are DELIVERED BY SOMEONE ELSE?

So screw you, busy board*. I am super mom. Just don’t ask me to make you any colored sensory play spaghetti because mama ain’t got time for that $%^&.

(*Hah—see what I did there? Screw? Busy board?)

PS: I did have a rock star mom moment on Mother’s Day when we painted in baggies. It was pretty fun. We will definitely do it again.

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54 thoughts on “Shove it, Pinterest.

  1. yeah, fuck allllll that. Social media has made us all feel crazy for no good reason.
    Besides, in my limited experience, Ansel much prefers things like the remote to the fan or the screws in the table to something finely made with any of my extra time.
    You’re doing such a good job. And the paintings are the cutest!

      • Sensory bottles are quick and easy, just throw some hair gel and glitter, or water/food coloring/oil in them and you are good! I did hot glue the tops on mine though, cause the kids I made them with were old enough to twist the tops off 🙂

      • That’s actually next on my list because it’s quick and C loves water bottles! I have 4 bottles sitting on the counter waiting for the weekend.

  2. And it’s not any better when they are toddlers! I’m lucky I remember to feed and water my kid, much less do anything on pinterest! lol We are all super moms just by working and keeping the kid alive and well. Seriously!

  3. So, what’s a busy board? Evidently I’ve missed that “need” entirely! And the paintings are adorable, I say those in themselves earn you at least a few amazing mommy gold stars! You are doing awesome being a mommy! 😊

    • So I just googled busy board. And I say no, there is simply no way we are expected to make these and do everything else under the sun! Among all the other developmental toys we have in our house, our kid will never miss having a busy board.
      Buy one, maybe. But find time to make one, not going to happen in this house!

      • Etsy solves all the Pinterest problems. I am trying to convince the husband to buy me a handmade baby swing for the backyard tree. I looked at the Pinterest tutorial and said FUCK that. Estimated time to complete project 2-3 hours… In reality, 2-3 days plus 10x the estimated cost.

  4. Those busy boards look great. So great I would buy one. Or pay for someone to make one. Or accept one if someone offered. But to make? Yeah no. No mama’s got time for that.
    And anyway, nothing on Pinterest turns out how its meant to. You’re just meant to look at things and think you *might* one day make it, never actual do it. Same goes for the yoghurt drops x

    • I tried to convince my dad to make us one, and he said he was going to but it’s been several months, so obviously that’s not happening. I found a whole bunch of them on Etsy, which is my go to for things I COULD make myself, but have no desire/time to make myself. 😉

  5. You know what Charlotte needs? Love. Love and something to catch her poo. Forget Pinterest. You’re plenty crafty. You’re so crafty, you made a whole frickin’ human being.

  6. Honestly, our kids have no effing idea about whatever he hell boards unless we show them, and as you eloquently stated, “Mama ain’t got time for that ish!”, so what they WILL know is that ice cubes are hella fun to play with while mama goes to refill her wine sippy cup!

  7. Your kid is happy, loved, and well taken care of – you definitely meet the requirements of super mom!

    …also, I mean, do we really want to teach our babies to pick locks and undo latches?

  8. I LOATHE Pinterest. If something I google links to Pinterest I refuse to open the link, that’s how much I hate it. I digress…

    You’re a rock star mom, and Charlotte is a really happy and curious and smart little girl. So screw the busy board, if you don’t want to/can’t/feel ambivalent about doing it. I painted a portion of a wall with chalkboard paint in our previous house. Evelyn loved drawing on it. C is a bit young for that. But that was my version of a “busy board” – one sloppily placed coat of paint, lol

    • As much as I want to slow her growth (because TOO FAST!) I really am looking forward to Evelyn’s age when she can play with things like chalk. I feel like it opens up a whole new world. I try to keep her occupied with toys, but I feel like she gets so bored with her toys. I’m starting to loathe Pinterest too, although it’s still my go to for recipes. I just need to find a way to tune out all of the mom stuff.

  9. I have a lot of that kind of stuff pinned on my pinterest… yeah never done any of it. B does need a busy board though, but that would require me to use tools and just to figure out which tools to do that would take so much time.

  10. BABY FOOD. I make it myself, but anyone who says it is easy is high. I mean… it is “easy” but it is also time consuming. There is the selection, chopping, steaming, puree-ing. Or chopping it into small enough pieces not to choke on it.

    Also, I just looked at the busy board, and I don’t who has that kind of time. Especially because if their kid is anything like mine, it will be used for approximately 5 minutes.

    • We don’t do purees, so I’ve been trying all of these random recipes for finger foods that are easy to eat with minimal teeth. I have discovered that I need to stop having such high expectations of recipes I’m finding on some random mommy blogger’s site. It’s not like they’re Food Network chefs… they’re moms experimenting in their kitchens.

  11. pah … She’d just play with all the busy boxes that accompanied the busy items which need to be safely (and lovingly) secured to the b@$%@~d board! Cuddles with your team are the best use of your busy downtime!

  12. First off that baggie painting…AWESOME! That is certainly worth a try.

    I very recently have been beating myself up because I am reading all these posts on facebook about how awesome mommyhood is and I am sitting over here having a pity party on how Fing hard it is! I keep thinking why am I having such a hard time? What is wrong with me?! Maybe our problem is social meida! HA

    • It is crazy effing hard! I wouldn’t trade my kiddo for anything, but man… Sometimes I would trade my right arm for a solid night of sleep or an hour of me time. In parenting, the highs are so, so high but the lows are just brutal.

  13. We got our busy board on etsy. Jes thought about making one and I said HELL NO. We don’t have time for that shit. I saw your painting pictures and thought what a wonderful idea that is and I felt like I should do something like that! The guilt is everywhere. Hell, we bought a $50 swing for Simon a few weeks ago and where is it? In a pile on a chair in the living room. We’re all doing our best! Happy baby is all that matters!

    • Who wants to guess how long Melody’s wagon has been sitting in the garage waiting to be assembled? In fairness, it requires loud banging which I can’t do much while I’m home. Or how long her new car seat has sat in the garage? lol

  14. I love those paintings! So cute!! And I definitely think more recognition could be given for the every day basics. Hell, I’d like a trophy for not stabbing someone at work most days lol

  15. Thanks for the mess-free finger painting idea. Both my boys loved it. I don’t do Pinterest unless I’ve seen that a real person test it out first (not to say that those super crafty moms are not real…just unrealistic).

  16. I should send you photos of our kids’ baby books. The Bean’s has the first three pages filled in in my very best handwriting and a dozen photos tucked into the pages where I should stick them. Sprout’s has her birth announcement in it. That’s it.

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