I have never been more grateful for this community than I am today. I’m still making my way through all of your brilliant, detailed and generous comments on my last post. I can really only read a few at a time because I end up crying so hard (grateful tears) that I can’t see anymore. 

And as if all of you aren’t wonderful enough, my cousin just offered to give me some of her breast milk. Cue more tears. 

Anyway, I just had to say thank you. I feel like I can figure this out now, and it was so helpful to have your words in my head when I woke up to pump in the night only to realize that the little bit of milk I had pumped was pink from blood. Today is going to be a “spa” day for the boobs, and tomorrow we see the pediatrician and the lactation consultants. 

One thing is certain: I will do anything for this face. 


22 thoughts on “Speechless

  1. Whenever I look at her, the phrase ‘life of the party’ pops into my head. She’s just fantastic.
    And if I haven’t already told you today, you are a wonderful Mum and you’re doing an amazing job. Xx

  2. I kind of love this weird, wonderful community. I’m so glad you’re getting support and donor milk! Also, it’s 100% ok to give Charlotte the milk with blood (you didn’t ask but in case you were wondering. . .)

  3. So glad this community has helped you through a dark mommy time already. It’s wonderful isn’t it? Hope your boobies get the TLC they need and thank goodness for people willing to give their breastmilk to you. So so kind!

  4. she already has so much personality in that little, sweet face. love it! also, a spa day sounds like a fantastic idea. remember always to be gentle and kind and loving with YOURSELF… you are obviously so strong and having an amazing reserve to draw on … sometimes when you fall into that category, it is easy it be the harshest & expect the most from yourself. it will get better, and easier. both of you are a learning team! we’re all cheering for you. 😘

  5. Her face is just amazing. So cute. She appreciates everything you’re doing for her. I’m glad you got some good advice and are seeing the lactation consultant tomorrow. You’ll get through this together. Have a nice nipple spa day!

    • I am following your mom’s advice. Been running (hah–running–as if) around topless all day and it has made a big difference! I’d been keeping them bundled up with pads & lanolin, but the air is way better. Thank her for me! Also, Catch made me the cookies you posted a while back. Great recipe! How are Gia’s billi levels looking now? Charlotte barely squeaked by with her billi reading on Sunday. The great starts nurse at kaiser told me that 70% of newborns end up with jaundice.

      • I’m so happy the nips are feeling a little better and that you’re getting more help tomorrow. I hope it smooths out soon. I’ve had a few terrifying moments this week like yesterday when I thought I didn’t have enough supply. It’s amazing how scary it feels. On Saturday her billi was down to 12.6 and they said its resolving itself but continual nursing and diaper output is important. I love how Kaiser focuses on low intervention and didn’t rush to use the light and blanket. And I’m glad Charlotte didn’t have to deal with it in addition to the nursing issues. Good luck tonight and take care of yourself.

  6. What a beautiful little girl you have there. I wish I could give you some advice but just know that we’re all cheering you on and here for you whatever way that may be. πŸ’•

  7. Oh bless you sweet lady! You know what the secret of being a mother is? I’ve already discovered it you see: it’s two fold. 1) free the baby. 2) love the baby. You’ve got it down πŸ™‚ much much love.

  8. Hey blood in milk just means it has extra iron. πŸ˜‰ this will get better. Breastfeeding sucked for me for a good 4 months. But the last 2 have been a lot better. I have a stubborn one who’s just determined to have a shallow latch. If you can fix it now you shouldn’t have to endure months of pain. Though I never bled so I can’t speak to that. I had bad pain that curles my toes. Glad it finally went away!

    You got this mama! She’s beautiful. That’s what got me through the pain, seeing my baby so happy and healthy.

  9. I’m so sorry that you two have been struggling with breastfeeding. I have a lot of friends who have had a hard time with getting their babes to learn to latch properly and with supply too. There were a lot of tears shed and one friend eventually moved on to formula only. It all sounds really challenging, so please don’t beat yourself up over it. I hope that you got lots of good tips on your other post, and feel better. You are a great mama no matter what, and the fact that you’re reaching out on here is a sign that you haven’t given up yet. Your little one will be fine, whatever feeding route you take. We’ll be rooting for you two (no pun intended!)!

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