23 Weeks

We reached 23 weeks on Saturday, which is a bit crazy to me. Didn’t I just get pregnant yesterday? When did the weeks stop dragging and start flying?

Baby girl is now about 12 inches from head to toe, and she weighs about a pound. I do not want to know what I weigh at the moment. I had the most intense craving for chocolate just now (probably because I have a horrible headache) and ended up using the work vending machine for only the second time in the 8+ years our office has been here. Even though I clearly don’t make a habit of it, I still wish I didn’t know that damn thing was there. Although I do feel a tiny bit better, so maybe we’ll just consider it highly caloric Tylenol and leave it at that.

Sleep is becoming ridiculous. Between getting up to pee and absolute insomnia between 3 & 5 am, a good night’s sleep is starting to feel like a distant memory. I can handle the bathroom trips, but the insomnia is killing me. Often, it comes along with severe anxiety over some silly thing that feels like the end of the world in the middle of the night, but in the light of day is actually no big deal.

My engagement ring is still on (for now), but my wedding ring came off last week. It’s about a quarter size smaller than my engagement ring, and it was starting to get very uncomfortable by late afternoon. I figured it was time to tuck it away for a while.

I haven’t been feeling well the past couple of days. It’s possible that it’s something I ate, but more likely that it’s some sort of a bug since people seem to be dropping like flies around the office. When I got home yesterday, I was absolutely miserable and I went straight to bed. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself because Catch had to leave to play softball and I didn’t want to be alone, but as I was lying in bed baby girl gave me a few good thumps. It was a perfect reminder that I am anything but alone. She’s always there with me, and vice versa. As anxious as I am to have her on the outside, I sort of love that right now I have her all to myself.

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The baby blanket is coming along. I finally finished with the boring colors and got to start on the pink last night. Right now it reminds me of neapolitan ice cream. I love that it covers my belly as I’m working on it. I look at it and all I can think about is wrapping up our perfect baby girl in this blanket that her mommy made her. Something tells me that it will be getting some pre-baby cuddle time with me once I’m finished with it.

9 thoughts on “23 Weeks

  1. Reading this made me so happy for you (minus the lack of sleep and not feeling well). I particularly loved your realization that you are never alone, And the blanket is adorable and made me smile as you and your little one will both love it!

  2. I love that blanket! Is the chevron pattern easy to knit? I’ve never done colour changes before either, but would totally consider making this too. I hope you feel better soon, and that your sleeping patterns improve. Waking up to anxiety is like realizing you left the house with the stove on- it gets your mind racing, your BP rising, and the fixations are hard to break. You know I struggle with this too, so I hope there’s some comfort knowing that your friend mamaetmaman is probably awake and obsessing up in Canada- you are not alone.

  3. (Sniff)…you’re anything but alone. Dammit, that choked me up. So true. 3-5 is the witching hour(s)!! I hate to say it doesn’t get any better. I’ve been dealing with it for weeks.

    The blanket is gorgeous! Man, I wish I could knit/crochet. You’re very talented!

  4. It’s gorgeous – the blanket I mean, and yes totally Neapolitan! What is also gorgeous is the feeling and realization that baby is always with you. It’s been a real comfort with Toku away, she tells me, if we speak at night, to snuggle down and hold our boy, and it feels so much less lonely. My mum is excitedly starting to knit Boyboy a blanket too. We went and bought extra wool yesterday. I’ll try and post a pic of what ours will look like. (PS the online pattern shows one done in 2-3 pastel colours which would work well for your girly maybe if you wanted another project after this one!)

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