Already a Bad Mother

I have been indulging in the occasional caffeinated drink. It started about 3 or 4 weeks ago with a half caf latte at Starbucks one morning. Then the following week, it was an iced tea at lunch. I’ve basically been allowing myself to splurge about once or twice a week since then. Usually once on coffee and once on iced tea. It’s still well within the “not to exceed” recommendation for caffeine during pregnancy. I’m honestly doing it mostly because I am SO BORED with drinking water and I don’t really like the sweetened beverages that are the decaf alternative to water (lemonade, etc.). I haven’t felt bad about it at all.

Until now. I got a soy latte from Starbucks this morning, and by the time I got to work, I’m pretty sure the baby was break dancing in there. S/he went from totally undetectable to literally bouncing off the walls of my uterus in about 4 sips. I totally drugged my baby. This is the first time I’ve been able to really feel the effects of my (occasional!) caffeine consumption on the baby and wow. Sorry, kid. You’re pretty cute when you’re hyper, though.

The worst part is that I can’t promise it won’t happen again. Hopefully, baby is keeping the dance moves clean. No twerking in there, munchkin. You hear me? The world does not need another Miley Cyrus.

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21 thoughts on “Already a Bad Mother

  1. Uh. I’ve been drinking a cop of coffee a day since day 1. So sign me up for president of the bad mom’s club? I find seafoam responds much more to sugar!

    • LOL. I hope everyone knows how much I was kidding about the bad mom thing! It’s not like we’re out snorting cocaine and drinking martinis… it’s a freaking cup of coffee! Hell, I think I probably do more damage with donuts than I do with lattes. (Mmm… donuts.)

      Really, I think the caffeine probably only elicits such a strong reaction because my own body isn’t really used to it anymore. I quit it altogether while we were TTC, and now just the smallest bit has a really strong effect on me.

  2. OMG. You are too funny! I know you know you’re well within the safe zone, but just a fun anecdotal story for you. Upon explaining to my MIL why I had switched to decaf everything, she proceeds to tell us how she drank 2-3 cups of coffee everyday during both of her pregnancies, and both of her kids ended up diagnosed as gifted in intelligence. Maybe the lil bubs is also practicing his/her multiplication tables in there? Lol

    • I like that theory. Or maybe the break dancing was actually violin practice!

      A friend of mine was pregnant and she totally missed the caffeine memo from her doctor, so she was practically LIVING on caffeine throughout most of her pregnancy. One day, she was complaining to her doctor about how the baby never stopped bouncing around, and when the doctor found out she’d been living on Frappucinos she gave her an earful. The kid is now a very intelligent 12 year old, but she used to throw the most AWFUL tantrums and I always told my friend it was Starbucks’ fault.

      • HaHahaha that is an awesome story! Blame it on the Frappucinos! We joke around that DW must have some biological dependency on caffeine because when she quit for a while, she would get crazy withdrawal symptoms: night sweats everyday for 5 days, massive splitting headaches, personality changes… Blame it on MIL’s caffeine supply in the womb. Lol.

  3. I must be terrible then because I’ve been sticking to my one cup of coffee a day! I’m a mum of a 16 month old who is a very early riser (6am) and has more energy than the Duracell bunny! I don’t have any other caffeinated products other than that though so don’t think that’s too bad. The nhs in the uk advice you not to exceed 200 mg of caffeine a day and the average cup of coffee is only 80mg (http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/limit-caffeine-during-pregnancy.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=216)
    So stop beating yourself it’s absolutely fine to have a cup bow and again. Being pregnant is tiring as it is, it’s a cruel joke to stop us having coffee at the same time haha xx

  4. This is too funny! Callie was having really bad headaches (she’s a 3-4 cups of coffee a day person EASY!), and she told the dr so he asked if she drinks coffee and how often, and how much she was having since her prgnancy.. She replied one cup a day and he told her to take it up to 2-3 if the headaches dont go away. It’s no biggie! So she was having 2 cups of coffee every day throughout her pregnancy. Don’t even sweat it! And in case you were wondering, the supposed “Bad Mothers Club” has a list the size of the freaking globe!

  5. Yep. I’m still a one-cup-a-day girl myself. Haven’t been able to reliably feel him moving around in there enough yet to know if it has an effect. But I’ve definitely given him several stern talking-to’s when I’ve done questionably wise things (mostly related to lifting/exertion at work- unavoidable in my job). They go like this: “Listen to me little man. On occasion, your moms can both be kind of badass. So you are gonna have to hang in there and be tough to make it in this family!!”

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