Wardrobe Crisis

I have officially reached the point where a solid half of my wardrobe doesn’t fit. Shirts are too short and pants are too tight. It’s causing marital strife because it’s not unheard of for me to have a breakdown over something as simple as dog walking attire, which prompts Catch to say she’ll walk the dogs without me. In turn, I get angry at her for not being patient with me while I figure something out. All the while the dogs are freaking out because someone said the word WALK (god forbid) and I can’t think with all of the whining in the room. (My own included.)

It’s a problem.

My work wardrobe is fine for right now. I have enough maternity bottoms for the office, and many of my work tops still fit. It’s the casual clothes that are the problem. Mostly for two reasons:

  1. I despise horizontal stripes.
  2. I don’t like wearing shirts that are clingy. I am a flowy kind of girl.

95% of casual maternity wear falls into at least one of the above categories. I am not a small girl, but I can wear an XXL at Target just fine. Yesterday, I tried on a couple of maternity t-shirts in an XXL at Target and they fit me like cotton condoms. Even if I compromise on the stripes, that’s just not going to work for me. Target maternity pants fit perfectly, but their shirts were clearly designed for someone more willing to display back fat than I am.

On Monday, I spent an ungodly amount of money ordering a ridiculous amount of maternity clothing from Old Navy. I didn’t think it was going to be here until Saturday, but I have been checking the tracking obsessively and I just saw that it was delivered! Sitting on my front porch is a bag full of clothes that I might actually be willing/able to wear in public!

But I have to wait until I get off of work and sit in traffic to go home and see them.

Dear Boss:

There is a package waiting on my front doorstep that may help save my marriage.* I need to leave now.

Signed,

Pregnant, Crazy, & Possibly Showing Up Naked for Casual Day Tomorrow

Think it will work?

*Okay, yes—this is a total exaggeration. But come on… are you telling me you’ve never lied to your boss?

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14 thoughts on “Wardrobe Crisis

  1. Target’s maternity line is a joke, shirt wise. I had the same experience, where pre pregnancy I could totally wear an XL or XXL, but the maternity stuff was painted on! So weird. ON is a MUCH better choice!

  2. I hope you don’t get arrested if you show up naked on casual Friday. I wish I could send you clothes in your size. I have a lot from last time and would be happy to share but they’re not the right size. Hope your parcel restores marital peace and harmony!

  3. I completely understand this whole not having anything to wear and it causing break downs. I hated finding clothes. I couldn’t handle everything sitting so tight.
    I loved wearing dresses because it just sat on me. I didn’t need to struggle to get it on or off. LOL
    I just googled Old Navy and the stuff they have is lovely. Might keep them in mind for our next pregnancy. Hope they are just what you were after.

  4. This is our biggest struggle…and believe me it doesn’t get better after birth either because you’re at that weird stage where you still look about 3-4 months pregnant so you can fit MOST of your old stuff but you want to be as comfy as possible so you still wear your maternity jeans kinda thing. It took Callie 1 hr and 40 min to get ready today for our Valentine’s Day dinner…I almost left with the 3 kinds and did it on my own! Hope you love the ON stuff you bought…you should take some pics and post them…Id love to see that bump!

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