I have officially reached the point where a solid half of my wardrobe doesn’t fit. Shirts are too short and pants are too tight. It’s causing marital strife because it’s not unheard of for me to have a breakdown over something as simple as dog walking attire, which prompts Catch to say she’ll walk the dogs without me. In turn, I get angry at her for not being patient with me while I figure something out. All the while the dogs are freaking out because someone said the word WALK (god forbid) and I can’t think with all of the whining in the room. (My own included.)
It’s a problem.
My work wardrobe is fine for right now. I have enough maternity bottoms for the office, and many of my work tops still fit. It’s the casual clothes that are the problem. Mostly for two reasons:
- I despise horizontal stripes.
- I don’t like wearing shirts that are clingy. I am a flowy kind of girl.
95% of casual maternity wear falls into at least one of the above categories. I am not a small girl, but I can wear an XXL at Target just fine. Yesterday, I tried on a couple of maternity t-shirts in an XXL at Target and they fit me like cotton condoms. Even if I compromise on the stripes, that’s just not going to work for me. Target maternity pants fit perfectly, but their shirts were clearly designed for someone more willing to display back fat than I am.
On Monday, I spent an ungodly amount of money ordering a ridiculous amount of maternity clothing from Old Navy. I didn’t think it was going to be here until Saturday, but I have been checking the tracking obsessively and I just saw that it was delivered! Sitting on my front porch is a bag full of clothes that I might actually be willing/able to wear in public!
But I have to wait until I get off of work and sit in traffic to go home and see them.
There is a package waiting on my front doorstep that may help save my marriage.* I need to leave now.
Pregnant, Crazy, & Possibly Showing Up Naked for Casual Day Tomorrow
Think it will work?
*Okay, yes—this is a total exaggeration. But come on… are you telling me you’ve never lied to your boss?