Jury Duty

I am stuck at the courthouse in East Los Angeles today for jury duty. I’m annoyed because they transferred me here from downtown, which meant I couldn’t just hop on the subway like I’d planned. I had to actually sit in the morning rush hour in a part of town I am totally unfamiliar with. 

I am hoping I’ll be seen as undesirable because I have an appointment with my OB next week that can’t be rescheduled because her calendar is SO full. I’m going to be pissed if I have to miss it because some idiot did something stupid & landed himself in court. I could have postponed, but it’s a 3 month postponement, which means I will be very pregnant, and I figured serving now would be the lesser of two evils. 

Anyway, the one advantage to a day in the jury room is this:

I actually started some baby knitting. It’s a hat. (Or at least it will be one eventually.) And a simple one at that, because I didn’t have time to browse patterns or be choosy about yarn as I ran out the door. I’m flying by the seat of my pants on this one. 

Still, it’s a big step. Knitting for my baby girl. I have knit for so many other babies, but never my own. It feels totally bizarre to know that this hat won’t be leaving the house in a gift bag. 

The results are in…

An email from my OB this morning:


I have this mad urge to buy cute baby things now, but Catch told me no.  I’m not taking no for an answer, though.  I told her that she wanted me to be excited, and now I’m excited and she just needs to let me have some fun. I also reminded her how lucky she is that I haven’t been shopping since day 1 like most non-neurotic pregnant women.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to exploring vintage Little Golden Books on eBay and camping themed onesies on Etsy.  Our daughter is going to be well versed in nature AND fine literature.  (OK, so Little Golden Books don’t exactly qualify as fine literature, but… um… oh well.)

Turning Point

It’s a drizzly day here in Los Angeles. The perfect kind of day to spend on the couch in pajamas, but that’s not in the cards for us. I have a big pot of soup on the stove for lunches for the week, and in a little while we’re headed out into the land of open houses…

Because apparently, we’re having a baby girl. For real. And we’re going to need a place to put her.

Friday’s ultrasound was transformative for me. It wasn’t the greatest experience from a procedural standpoint… They didn’t let me see anything until they were done, which was pretty anxiety-inducing and disappointing. Plus, she was pushing so hard on my belly for so long that I was really hurting. But regardless, we got to see our baby. The tech did pause for a moment halfway through to let us watch as our baby girl sucked her thumb. It’s amazing to see our little bundle of cells looking and acting like a baby. Even the tech watched with a smile on her face and said that no matter how many times she sees it, it never gets old.

Suddenly, I feel so much more connected to this pregnancy. It’s like a switch was flipped. I had been talking in ifs for so long that both Catch and my mom had run out of patience. They both gave me an earful on separate occasions last week, and I was beginning to feel like I’d never be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can see it now, though. It’s magical.

After our ultrasound, Catch and I took a deep breath and walked into Babies R Us. Our first foray into the world of baby “stuff.” We looked at everything from onesies to gliders to strollers and sort of stared in awe at the strange world in front of us.

We had intended to buy a cute little outfit to commemorate the occasion, and instead left with a chair for the nursery we don’t even have yet. How’s that for jumping in head first? I had been sitting in a little grey glider that I totally fell in love with–it was exactly what I’ve been looking for. I took a picture of the sign so we’d remember it later on and we moved on through the store. Then, all of a sudden, I was staring at my exact favorite chair in perfect condition with a big red clearance sticker on it. Someone had just returned it. The sales guy said that NEVER happens, and we took it as a sign that it was meant to be. So I got our chair and saved over $100 on it.


Anyway, point being that I feel like I’ve turned a corner since Friday. We are so ridiculously excited about our baby girl. We would have been happy either way, but it feels pretty good to know that we’ve been right all along about what’s cooking in there. Plus, now we get to name her after two amazing women who we adore, and that feels like another wonderful little gift.

We celebrated our news over pizza and (pink) strawberry cupcakes with my parents, who are thrilled despite their desire for a boy. Catch’s parents have been team girl since the beginning, so my MIL is just thrilled that now she can go shopping for girly things. (God save us!)

Now, we just wait on the results of the scan, but I am choosing to believe that we have nothing to worry about. After all these weeks of endless worry, it’s time to let it go.

3 Hours…

…Until our anatomy scan.

I am practically bouncing off the walls.  This is the first time I’ve been more excited for an ultrasound than nervous.  I think it helps that I’ve been feeling a bit of movement this morning.

So, keep me distracted between now and then.  What do you think we’re going to see today?

PS – I know of at least 2 others who have their anatomy scans today, so I am sending lots of happy, positive thoughts out there today for all of us.

PPS – Am I right?


Already a Bad Mother

I have been indulging in the occasional caffeinated drink. It started about 3 or 4 weeks ago with a half caf latte at Starbucks one morning. Then the following week, it was an iced tea at lunch. I’ve basically been allowing myself to splurge about once or twice a week since then. Usually once on coffee and once on iced tea. It’s still well within the “not to exceed” recommendation for caffeine during pregnancy. I’m honestly doing it mostly because I am SO BORED with drinking water and I don’t really like the sweetened beverages that are the decaf alternative to water (lemonade, etc.). I haven’t felt bad about it at all.

Until now. I got a soy latte from Starbucks this morning, and by the time I got to work, I’m pretty sure the baby was break dancing in there. S/he went from totally undetectable to literally bouncing off the walls of my uterus in about 4 sips. I totally drugged my baby. This is the first time I’ve been able to really feel the effects of my (occasional!) caffeine consumption on the baby and wow. Sorry, kid. You’re pretty cute when you’re hyper, though.

The worst part is that I can’t promise it won’t happen again. Hopefully, baby is keeping the dance moves clean. No twerking in there, munchkin. You hear me? The world does not need another Miley Cyrus.

18 Weeks

Maternity Clothes

The Old Navy maternity clothes ended up being somewhat of a bust. Not their fault, though. After my experience in the cotton condoms Target calls t-shirts, I ordered almost everything from Old Navy in an XXL even though I know their sizes run large, and I was pretty much swimming in everything I bought. You know it’s bad when leggings are baggy. Lots of things to return. Oh well. Lesson learned! I’d rather have this problem than the opposite.

On Thursday night, Catch and I found ourselves at the mall. We were meeting her mom and grandma for dinner, and after dinner, we popped over to a maternity store. I had 2 or 3 things in my hand to try on when I lost my shit out of nowhere and insisted that we forget about it and just go home. Walking out of the mall, I started to cry. There was nothing rational about it, but I’m learning that pregnancy is just sort of like that for me—totally irrational.

On Friday when I got home from work, I opened my closet door to put my shoes away and found a whole mess of new clothes hanging in my closet. Catch was off early on Friday, and she went shopping for me after work. About 95% of what she picked out fit me perfectly and was exactly what I was looking for. Does it get any sweeter than that? All of the roses on the planet would not have made me feel as special as those clothes did. My wife is a freaking rock star.

Valentine’s Day

I really didn’t figure it was possible to top Friday night’s closet spectacular, but Saturday was about as close to perfection as a day can possibly get. It was 80-something degrees outside and there wasn’t a cloud in sight, so we headed to the beach. (Along with every other person in all of Southern California.) We started out at the dog beach (sans dogs) so we could go for a long walk and enjoy the tide pools without worrying about short-legged dogs slipping on rocks and hurting themselves. After the beach, we headed up the coast a bit further to Solvang—a really cute little Danish town with amazing pastries (and abundant wine tasting, but let’s face it—I was there for the pastries).

Something came over me while we were there, and the next thing I knew, we were shopping for a onesie. Our first baby purchase since the shoes we used for our announcement. It felt a little (ok, a lot) surreal when I handed the woman a credit card to buy something for our very own baby.


On the way home, we found a spot to pull over so we could sit and watch the sunset.

sunset flower

Rocks on Beach

sunset 2

Days like that just don’t come along very often, and I’m so grateful that we got to spend it together.


I had a quick visit with the perinatologist yesterday afternoon. She measured the belly, listened to the heartbeat, and sent us on our way. It was pretty uneventful, which is good. I was hoping for a quick peek at our little monkey, but no such luck.

Now, we’re just sitting here holding our breath until Friday’s anatomy scan. Only 3 days until we find out if this little one is a boy or a girl. The anticipation is killing me! We still feel pretty strongly that it’s a girl. Before I got pregnant we both had our hearts set on a boy, so as we strolled through Solvang on Saturday, I asked Catch if she was still hoping for a boy or if she was on board for a girl. We were in agreement that as much as we wanted a boy in the beginning, we’re both team girl right now and we’re going to be pretty thrown off it turns out to be a boy. Not that we won’t be thrilled either way! At the end of the day, we really truly don’t care. All we care about is bringing home a baby in 22-ish weeks.

Still… 3 more days! Eep!

Wardrobe Crisis

I have officially reached the point where a solid half of my wardrobe doesn’t fit. Shirts are too short and pants are too tight. It’s causing marital strife because it’s not unheard of for me to have a breakdown over something as simple as dog walking attire, which prompts Catch to say she’ll walk the dogs without me. In turn, I get angry at her for not being patient with me while I figure something out. All the while the dogs are freaking out because someone said the word WALK (god forbid) and I can’t think with all of the whining in the room. (My own included.)

It’s a problem.

My work wardrobe is fine for right now. I have enough maternity bottoms for the office, and many of my work tops still fit. It’s the casual clothes that are the problem. Mostly for two reasons:

  1. I despise horizontal stripes.
  2. I don’t like wearing shirts that are clingy. I am a flowy kind of girl.

95% of casual maternity wear falls into at least one of the above categories. I am not a small girl, but I can wear an XXL at Target just fine. Yesterday, I tried on a couple of maternity t-shirts in an XXL at Target and they fit me like cotton condoms. Even if I compromise on the stripes, that’s just not going to work for me. Target maternity pants fit perfectly, but their shirts were clearly designed for someone more willing to display back fat than I am.

On Monday, I spent an ungodly amount of money ordering a ridiculous amount of maternity clothing from Old Navy. I didn’t think it was going to be here until Saturday, but I have been checking the tracking obsessively and I just saw that it was delivered! Sitting on my front porch is a bag full of clothes that I might actually be willing/able to wear in public!

But I have to wait until I get off of work and sit in traffic to go home and see them.

Dear Boss:

There is a package waiting on my front doorstep that may help save my marriage.* I need to leave now.


Pregnant, Crazy, & Possibly Showing Up Naked for Casual Day Tomorrow

Think it will work?

*Okay, yes—this is a total exaggeration. But come on… are you telling me you’ve never lied to your boss?


I had an appointment with a midwife yesterday for the first time. I feel like I’ve seen every sort of practitioner under the sun so far, so might as well add a midwife to the mix, right?

I wasn’t really sure what to expect going in. They said she’d do a physical exam, and I figured maybe we’d get to hear the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler. I didn’t have very high expectations because I assumed they’d keep it pretty simple since I’m seeing the perinatologist again next week.

Sitting in the waiting room, we could hear a heartbeat through the wall next to us. Catch noticed it first, and it went on for quite some time. Sometimes it would accelerate and then slow again—it was absolutely the sound of a baby’s beating heart. It made me incredibly anxious. My stomach did flip flops. My biggest fear was that there would be nothing to hear when it was our turn to go inside.

Fortunately, I didn’t have too long to fidget restlessly before my name was called.

First, I had a fun little meeting with the scale. The scale informed me that at 17 weeks, I’ve gained about 6.5 pounds, putting me at the high end of what I should be gaining (based on my pre-pregnancy BMI). It also crossed over to a number that I haven’t seen in a while and I was pretty bummed to have to see it written down. I knew it was coming, but it was sort of disappointing to be there already. I have been gaining weight a bit too easily since I stopped taking metformin. It’s been a difficult adjustment.

Then, we met the midwife. I absolutely loved her. She was the perfect mix of straightforward and caring. When she asked us if we’re married and we said yes, she told us how much she loves hearing that. Major points for her. She mentioned that she also runs a gestational diabetes clinic, so I talked to her about PCOS, my risk for GD, and got some diet tips from her.

Once the diet talk was done, she did a breast exam, took a peek at my cervix with the speculum, and then…

She turned on the ultrasound machine and won my undying affection.

Our little one looks fantastic. S/he was flipped backwards and showing us an adorable little baby butt. I thought baby faces were pretty cute in regular ultrasounds, but it turns out that baby booties take the cake. We also saw a flickering heart and heard a beautiful heartbeat. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks.

We didn’t get any pictures this time. I’m not too disappointed though, because I also scheduled our big anatomy scan for next Friday. That means I only have 10 more days to wait until we find out if this little monster is a boy or a girl! I am so ridiculously excited.

In other news, we submitted the final bit of paperwork to a mortgage broker today, putting us one step closer to having an actual place to put this baby in July. Cross your fingers for us! I think the coming months are going to get crazy pretty quickly.