Dear Santa: Send Pants

There are no comfortable pants on the planet. Not a single pair. I am destined to be miserable and/or naked for the next 7 months.

Mind you, I haven’t exactly looked for comfortable pants, unless you count inside my closet as I was having a dress-pants-related meltdown before work this morning. Eventually, the only “solution” to my problem (that I could see through my hormonal fog) was to take a pair of scissors and hack at one of my waistbands. And you know what? Despite my ruined pants, I am still sitting here tugging at my waist and wishing desperately for my flannel pajama bottoms. My problem solving skills are clearly less than stellar no matter what my resume says.

Why did everything have to get too tight the week of Christmas? Does the universe not understand that the mall is the last place on earth I need to be this week? I have two malls within lunch break distance of my office, and there are traffic cops directing miles of traffic outside of both of them right now. I’m not sure I could get close even if I wanted to.

I did try Old Navy last week. I waited in line for 30 minutes to purchase one pair of black maternity pants that are the world’s most effective lint magnet. If you noticed that your entire house became void of lint last week, you have me to thank. Your lint is now taking up residence on my black pants. Those things are awful. Even so, I would have worn them this morning out of sheer desperation, but we were away all weekend and they never got washed. Other than that, all Old Navy had to offer were light, breezy maxi skirts. Did Old Navy forget to send their maternity people the memo that IT IS WINTER? I’m sure I will be living in maxi skirts come spring/summer, but right now I just want to be warm and breeze-less, thankyouverymuch.

I also purchased a couple of maternity bands online, but they are too big for me.

If you’re keeping score, that means it’s Maternity Clothes 2, Molly 0. Maybe no one will notice if I wear sweatpants to Christmas dinner.


26 thoughts on “Dear Santa: Send Pants

  1. Leggings have been the go-to wear for my bloated belly so far this winter, and I am sure they will continue to be so. Leggings + dress/skirt + tall boots = relatively warm. Of course we haven’t dealt with temperatures lower than then teens or so yet.

  2. Here are my tips:
    1) Target’s maternity jeans are my favorite – but specifically, get the ones with the ‘full panel’ – NOT the extended waistband/low rise ones. I think those are for very skinny pregnant people, or others not in my social circle as *everyone* I know likes the high rise ones.
    2) Buy the maternity bands a size smaller than you think you need. For example, I wear an XL in, like, everything. In the maternity band, I went with the M/L (also from target)
    3) I like this belly band also a lot: and I think you can usually get it cheap (I just paid shipping) – I got the full size on this too, and again, the L.
    4) from my experience, old navy maternity is good for shirts but not bottoms. Kohl’s and Gordman’s both carry “motherhood maternity” lines, which are cheaper than the motherhood store but just as cute/comfy.

    Sending you comfy pants love!

    • Good advice all around! I was going to try Target after work today because I have to go there to pick up a prescription. Fingers crossed because jeans would make me SO HAPPY. I actually ordered the belly button bands, but I got the XL–the Large probably would have been perfect. I went to Kohl’s before I went to Old Navy last week, but apparently my particular Kohl’s doesn’t carry maternity in-store. Major bummer. The biggest hassle at the moment is just the crowds. I’m cursing myself for not sucking up my insecurities and doing this sooner!

  3. Two things: first, my step-sis says she used a hair tie to extend her waistband as a stop-gap for a bit. Loop it through the buttonhole and over the button, is how I am picturing it, to give yourself an extra inch or so.
    Two: not pants-related but I got SeaBands today and my nausea was gone within 5 minutes of putting them on. I know some people can’t tolerate them because they are tights, and my wrists are small (incongruously), but they may be worth a shot!!

    • The hair tie is great for jeans! It just doesn’t work on my work stuff because all of my dress pants have hooks instead of buttons. Totally annoying! I’m glad the bands are helping you! I couldn’t stand wearing them. They just hurt. I am starting to feel a little better, though–such a relief!

  4. From about 8 weeks for me I couldn’t handle anything touching my stomach from the bellybutton down. Every single pair of pants were frustratingly annoying and luckily due to the Australian heat we were having I could live in dresses or massive shirts around the house but they too irritated my stomach. When I went to see my midwife at an appointment she said she wouldn’t be surprised if I had an anterior placenta – Turns out I did. Everything was uncomfortable and I also struggled to find maternity clothing that was either comfortable or nice, I have a feeling that maternity clothing isn’t meant to be either of those things. ASOS was where I found a few hidden gems, so maybe give them a go. My advice is no pants, a little hard with the fact it’s winter.

    • I’ve been feeling the same way–any pressure on my stomach has me climbing walls. I just can’t stand it! Even the waistband of my sweatpants was bugging me last night.

  5. I think Target’s maternity section has a lot of variety, and can’t wait to be pregnant again and be able to buy some. Guilty confession: last pregnancy, I bought some Old Navy maternity black dress pants (maybe the same ones you did), and I actually wore them last night at a Christmas dinner. They are so comfortable for non-pregnant waists, but yes, they are dog hair magnets too! I hope Santa brings you comfy pants for Christmas.

    • I bought two pairs of pants at Target last night and I felt like I won the freaking lottery. The black ones were even on clearance! I can totally see how those old navy ones would be comfortable anytime. I just wish I didn’t look like I was wearing fur pants after an hour in them. 🙂

  6. Oh is that where all the lint went? I was wondering, ha ha.
    Am letting this serve as a warning, being only 7 weeks heading into summer is ok, but eventually I will be back at work. Will start shopping after New Years. Thanks for the heads up!

  7. Most comfy maternity pants for me:
    Old Navy maternity leggings
    Old Navy maternity lounge pants (wearing them now even though not pregnant)
    Work pants/jeans– anything full panel, those demi panels are fine in the beginning, but by the end they are begging for mercy. Post-pregnancy it comes full circle and demi panels are good again.

  8. I am exceedingly jealous as you have is many OPTIONS!! Not to make you feel bad as I seriously understand that shopping in malls right now is to be avoided at all costs…but here in NZ we just don’t do maternity wear it seems. There are a few shops that specialize at extremely high prices – eg Egg Maternity but you certainly can’t go to a department store & find a section. We don’t have any of the stores you all list 😦 I have looked in large second hand / consignment stores and you might be lucky to get 5 pieces of clothing of which most have been worn to death as I think people hand them on to others if they so buy them. Thank goodness it’s summer so I can wear maxi dresses etc, but I’m dreading winter when I will be enormous! I’m thinking I might order some stuff online from the stores you talk about and have it shipped internationally – so expensive but would be worth it for basics.

    • Ugh! That’s so awful! I wish I could go shopping and magically transport a full wardrobe to you! That must be so hard. Don’t they understand that pregnant people need clothing, too?

  9. Having to look professional at work while your pregnant is so hard, unless you want to spend a ton of money. I eventually broke down and went to motherhood and got some nice things that fit well and made me feel less frumpy. You might be able find a consignment store too. I found one close to us and that way I got some much cheaper, but still nice stuff that way.

    • I’m going to head to Motherhood after Christmas. I really do need some nice things for work. I don’t think I’m going to be able to pull together a nice enough office wardrobe between Target & Old Navy, much as my checking account would appreciate it!

  10. i ordered Callie pants exttenders from amazon..they come in 3 different sizes…they cost like 12 bucks and if you use Prime, you can get them in like 2 days…hope your pants debacle gets figured out soon, becuase after christmas, the malls aren’t any better!

  11. I only have a couple of decent maternity pants. I mostly just wear pajama pants and yoga pants around the house. I hope you can find something that works for you!

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