Pregnancy is so bizarre. Three hours ago, I was sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes clutching my trash can and pleading with my body not to be sick while my cheeks quivered and the room spun in circles. An hour later, I was eating every last drop of a steak quesadilla with spicy salsa. Now, I am hoping upon hope that I do not live to regret that stupid quesadilla that I absolutely had to have rightthatverysecond.
Yesterday, I battled Nausea (it’s a monster and I’m capitalizing it because monster names are proper nouns) all day (and night) except for the point when I spotted a bag of peach gummy candy while shopping on my lunch break and could not stop eating it. I ate the entire bag, minus two… because that somehow makes it better, right? It’s like subconsciously, I thought I would save face if I could at least say that I didn’t eat the entire bag, but really? I pretty much did. And then it was right back to Nausea for the rest of the day/night.
That said, I guess it’s pretty obvious that “morning” sickness has made a comeback despite my regular worship of Unisom and B6 supplements. This leads me to believe that my brief reprieve from Nausea was actually the result of decreasing HCG after we lost B and not a result of the drugs. Sorry Unisom/B6—I know I told my RE last week that you were a miracle, but that was before Nausea came back with a vengeance on Thursday and everything started to make sense.
I spent part of the morning reviewing charts of HCG levels with Dr. Google. Our research has shown that both Nausea and HCG seem to peak around week 9 and then slowly taper off from there. All of my eggs are in that one VERY hopeful basket, so please do not attempt to invalidate my research by telling me that you are 39.5 weeks pregnant and still feel like you’re lost at sea on a catamaran in a monsoon with a hangover. And in case you’re wondering, I have been lost at sea on a catamaran in a monsoon with a hangover* (ok, not LOST, but there was zero visibility) and it feels exactly like early pregnancy–terrifying, nauseating, and totally out of control. If this is as bad as it’s going to get and it doesn’t stay this bad for too long, I will live. If it’s going to get worse than today, I would like to be knocked unconscious until it gets better—because if you have ever thrown up while snorkeling because you were seasick and hung over* (don’t be ashamed—you’re not alone) you know what this feels like, and it is AWFUL.
*Someday, remind me to tell you all about that fantastic memorable family trip to Mexico.