CD 1 – Let’s Just Pretend this Never Happened

I started spotting yesterday afternoon.  It was the middle of the work day, and I was so excited that I practically skipped back to my office after it started. 

I immediately emailed the nurse at the fertility clinic to let her know.  I figured it’s Friday afternoon—better just get the ball rolling. 

She emailed me back to say great, we’ll get you scheduled for the HSG dye test next week.  That was all.

Umm… ok, I said.  What about clomid, though?  Don’t I need to start clomid on CD 3?

Her response?  We’ll start clomid next cycle.  You need the dye test first.

Cue hysterics from me.

First off, we had a lengthy conversation with the RE in our consult about my iodine allergy, and the RE specifically said let’s not do the HSG for now.  If the two IUI cycles fail, THEN we’ll do the HSG.  Catch and I both recall this conversation clear as day.

Second, the consult was in January.  It’s now April.  We TOLD the RE that we wanted to start the IUI cycles in March (my cycles were off though, so here we are in April).  They’ve had MONTHS to make an issue out of this dye test, and they chose not to bring it up until last week.  Then when I told them that the specialist they referred me to was on vacation, they said, OK.  No indication that they wouldn’t allow us to proceed with the IUIs without the fucking HSG.

By this point, it’s about 4:30 in the afternoon and I’m home from work discussing everything with Catch. 

I broke down.  Majorly.  I sobbed.  Ugly sobbing.  The kind that causes my sweet little Twix to crawl on top of me and try to give me kisses until I feel better. 

I finally gathered my heartbroken and pissed off wits about me and emailed them back to say the following:

I am not waiting another month.  Dr. (RE) very clearly told both me and my wife that we shouldn’t do the dye test because of my allergy.  I don’t understand why she suddenly changed her mind.  Otherwise, I would have done it months ago.  If this cycle is off, I will find a new doctor.

And just like that, I suddenly had appointment times for a Monday ultrasound in my inbox.

I’m not thrilled with the communication thus far, but unless we want to sit out another cycle and start over with another damn doctor, we’re pretty stuck.  I’m rolling with it, but I’m still pretty angry and upset that it came to this point.  I was SO HAPPY AND EXCITED that we FINALLY made it to this point.  I feel like we’ve been waiting forever.  I’ve been working my ass off!  I was SO READY for this cycle.  Now, I feel pretty deflated about it, and I hate going into this feeling that way.  Today, I feel like saying FUCK YOU, Dr. RE—and your little nurse, too.

Hopefully, my head will be in a better place come Monday.


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