In which I swear far less than I really want to…

Today is CD1 following a fantastic 48-day cycle.  It’s also 3/3, and you know how I feel about the number 3.  I had resigned myself to waiting out another cycle and pushing things back until mid-to-late-April, but I have to be honest—I’m disappointed.  3/3 would have been a great day for CD1 if we were trying this cycle.

Here are (a few) of the reasons why we’re not:

1)      I am still 4 pounds from my goal.  (So. Close.)

2)      We decided to err on the side of caution and paid off the small 401k loan I took out for baby making so that we could take a larger loan.  When I first borrowed that money (from myself), we really had no clue what we were in for.  Now that we know more about my body and its issues, we are taking more than we hope we will need, but enough to get us through some of plan B if plan B is needed.  We can always pay off what we don’t use. We’re still waiting for that to be processed.

3)      I still haven’t taken care of getting copies of all of my recent blood work to the RE.  Dealing with my doctors’ offices has been an absolute nightmare, and the thought of having to talk with the bitchy women at the front desk while sober makes me want to hurt someone.

So we wait.  Possibly another 48 days. Hell, who knows? Maybe I’ll bleed for another 30 days like I did in September.  Gosh, that would be fun.

I should know by now that having a plan is meaningless when it comes to TTC.  There hasn’t been a single thing over the past 13 months that has gone according to plan.  I don’t even believe it’s possible at this point. I think plans are like fairies.  We should just stop believing in them and then they’ll die and we can move on with more abstract outlines of theoretical possibilities.

Also: Fuck plans.

Sorry.  It had to be said.

One thought on “In which I swear far less than I really want to…

  1. You’re so close to your goal, you can do it! 😀 I hear for PCOS people who lose weight get more regular periods. I’m hoping you’re in that category already and your cycles will be more regular. 🙂
    I predict your futurekid will be free spirited.

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