Wide Awake

I’ve been a nervous wreck all day today. I am convinced that I ovulated earlier, and have spent the day subsequently googling “ovulation before iui.” If you ever find yourself in this position, do yourself a favor and stop googling. Talk to your doctor before your iui. Im seriously considering adding parental controls to my ipad so that I can’t google. Supposedly, it’s not the end of the world to ovulate before your iui provided you inseminate within 12-24 hours. The egg can supposedly live for 24 hours. Even so, I don’t think that makes it ideal.

We are scheduled for a 10 am iui tomorrow, and I’ve been counting down the minutes since I woke up this morning. I was so grateful for a friend’s birthday party tonight to help distract me, but now that we’re home it’s right back to worrying. Catch is sound asleep, and maybe I could be too if the neighbors a few houses down weren’t throwing the party to end all parties. I swear Catch could sleep through a marching band.

So, I’m awake and reeling. I can’t get my brain to shut off. I’m hoping a bit of blogging will help get it out so maybe I can get some rest.

I was telling Catch earlier about how the HCG trigger will give false positives on pregnancy tests since that’s what the tests look for. We decided to see what would happen, so I gave it a shot and sure enough, there were two clear lines. It felt totally surreal to be holding a positive pregnancy test even though I know it’s not the real thing. Hell, for that matter, it felt surreal to be taking a pregnancy test.

Despite my worry, I am so grateful to finally be sitting here waiting for this iui. We’ve been trying to figure out my cycles since March. I’ve only had two positive opks since we started testing 7 months ago, and both of them were very late in already too-long cycles. Thank god for clomid, because it seems to have done the trick. I wish I had more than one good follicle, but it only takes one, right?

So, we wait. And sleep–please, let there be some sleep. Morning will be here soon enough.

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