Sticks

Never in my life have I been so all-consumed by my
bladder.  It’s taking over my brain.  It’s causing me to cross and then re-cross my
legs as I sit squirming in my desk chair counting down the minutes until I am
able to a) relieve myself and b) have my first cup of coffee.

We had our meeting with the clinic on Wednesday
morning.  It was a fantastic meeting with
many outcomes, including my newfound appreciation for the potty dance.

The clinic’s paperwork includes clear instructions for
peeing on sticks:

1)      Wake
up at 5 am

2)      Empty
bladder

3)      Hold
it until 7:45 (it is currently 7:38)

4)      Pee
on a stick

5)      Call
clinic by 8:30 am if it’s positive

Another result of our meeting on Wednesday: Surprise!  We picked a new donor!

After months of research and discussion, we were pretty set
on our choices.  We had a top pick and a
backup pick.  Both of them were available
in abundance.  We’ve learned that the
sperm of redheaded men is not in high demand. 
Hmmm. 

(Pardon me while I pee
and snag myself a cup of coffee!)

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I started questioning our decision
to use an anonymous donor.  Partially, it
worked out that way because our top two picks just happened to be anonymous,
but Catch also had some strong reservations on using a willing to be known (WTBK)
donor. 

In the meantime, due to a series of events that included a
chick lit book, our meeting with the clinic, and some feedback on
FertilityFriend.com, we have changed our plan and chosen a new WTBK donor with
a different sperm bank.  Once again, I
have sticker shock over the cost of this stuff.

I am both anxious and terrified to get started.  I am so afraid it won’t work.  We have enough in savings for a single vial
of donor sperm and a single IUI each month for 6 months.  If we decide at some point to introduce an RE
or any drugs, that will significantly cut into our 6 months. 

All I can do is sit back, cross my fingers, and think good
thoughts.  In a matter of days, our life
will be divided into 2(ish) week cycles of waiting. I have never looked forward
to my period as much as I am today, and I know that in the coming months, our
reality will be the exact opposite. 

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