Feeling Stuck

I have been feeling completely discontent with life, lately.

Work is insanely crazy.

Our tiny apartment is constantly a mess because there’s just
no storage anywhere and the clutter is taking over.

The heat and our lack of decent air conditioning are getting
to us—leaving me with absolutely zero desire to cook, garden, or knit—basically
all of the things that make me a better human being.

All I can think about is buying a house—having space of our
very own. But we are HORRIBLE about saving money—absolutely awful.

Also, it’s hard to imagine living in a neighborhood other
than ours—and we can’t afford to buy in our neighborhood, which seriously
breaks my heart.  There is a fixer-upper house
across the street from us that backs up to the liquor store we rightly refer to
as the Murder Mart and a low-income apartment building parking lot and it’s
selling for $495,000.

Our budget is more like $350 k. 

Welcome to Los Angeles.

It’s all just so discouraging.

Add that to the mess I made of my credit in my early 20s,
and we’re just between a rock and a hard place. 
Fortunately, I’ve been working on it—it’s up from 630-something a year
ago to 680-something now.  Decent enough
for an FHA loan, at least, but Catch’s credit is SOOOO much better than mine—it
kills me that we will have to pay a higher interest rate because of my 20s.

I’m so done with this stage of our lives. I want a house. I
want a baby.  I want to feel unstuck from
this place we seem to be stuck in.

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